David Martin, Writer

Amarillo Boy

Motel Oklahoma

Mar 25, 2025

What if the Eagles had never made it to California and had to stop halfway? It might have sounded like this.

MOTEL OKLAHOMA  (To the tune of…well, you know.)

On a dark dusty highway, foul wind in my hair

Warm smell of a trash fire rising up through the air

Up ahead in the distance, a flick’ring neon light

My nose was burnin’ and my mind grew dim

I had to stop for the night

 

There she stood in the doorway

Eating some Taco Bell

At least I think it was a woman,

the facial hair made it hard to tell.

Then she lit up a Camel

And she pointed the way

Down the sidewalk to a faded door

I thought I heard her say,

 

“Welcome to the Motel Oklahoma

It’s a likely place (It’s a likely place)

For a murder case

Just a few rooms at the Motel Oklahoma

Everybody here (Everybody here)

Smells like three-two beer

 

Her El Camino is twisted

All the fenders have dents

She got a lot of gap-toothed plow boys

That she calls friends

They park their trucks in the courtyard

They drink, spit, and sweat

Their girlfriends ain’t much to look at

But that’s all they can get

 

Then I called up the front desk, ‘n said,

“I think I smell swine.”

She said they keep some pinned up

in the room two doors from mine.

Somewhere off in the distance, I heard some Blake Shelton play

Through the static on the radio, I thought I heard him say,

 

“Welcome to the Motel Oklahoma.

It’s an ugly place (It’s an ugly place)

Like that wart on her face.

Livin’ is rough at the Motel Oklahoma

Don’t be surprised (Don’t be surprised)

The sinks are galvanized.”

 

Roaches on the ceiling

There’s no machine that makes ice

And she said, “We no longer lodge prisoners here

‘Cuz they all escaped once or twice.”

Out in back by a smoker, they’re having a feast

But is that roadkill they’re cooking?

It’s some mysterious beast.

 

Last thing I remember,

I couldn’t unlock my door

And she said, “Don’t you worry, hon,

This has happened a few times before.”

“Relax,” said the janitor,

“We’ll have you out in a breeze

If anyone can remember

Where they left the keys.”

(With apologies to a few friends.)

14 Comments

  1. Nice work young man….

    Reply
    • Thanks, Richard!

      Reply
  2. Excellent!

    Reply
    • Thanks, Scott. I would have liked to hear the Crispies play it. 😆

      Reply
  3. Great article and posts

    Reply
    • Thanks, Kathy! I appreciate it.

      Reply
  4. Hilarious! I like your version better than the original.

    Reply
    • Thanks so much, Mary! That is high praise!

      Reply
  5. Hilarious, good work!

    Reply
    • Thanks, Steve!

      Reply
  6. Was some of that inspired by any of our road trips ? I hope not. Good work! Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • Ha! Inspiration can come from anywhere. Thanks, Tom!

      Reply
  7. Them’s my cousins you’s singing bout! I like it.

    Reply
    • And I’m sure they’re lovely, sophisticated people! 😄

      Reply

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