What if the Eagles had never made it to California and had to stop halfway? It might have sounded like this.
MOTEL OKLAHOMA (To the tune of…well, you know.)
On a dark dusty highway, foul wind in my hair
Warm smell of a trash fire rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, a flick’ring neon light
My nose was burnin’ and my mind grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway
Eating some Taco Bell
At least I think it was a woman,
the facial hair made it hard to tell.
Then she lit up a Camel
And she pointed the way
Down the sidewalk to a faded door
I thought I heard her say,
“Welcome to the Motel Oklahoma
It’s a likely place (It’s a likely place)
For a murder case
Just a few rooms at the Motel Oklahoma
Everybody here (Everybody here)
Smells like three-two beer
Her El Camino is twisted
All the fenders have dents
She got a lot of gap-toothed plow boys
That she calls friends
They park their trucks in the courtyard
They drink, spit, and sweat
Their girlfriends ain’t much to look at
But that’s all they can get
Then I called up the front desk, ‘n said,
“I think I smell swine.”
She said they keep some pinned up
in the room two doors from mine.
Somewhere off in the distance, I heard some Blake Shelton play
Through the static on the radio, I thought I heard him say,
“Welcome to the Motel Oklahoma.
It’s an ugly place (It’s an ugly place)
Like that wart on her face.
Livin’ is rough at the Motel Oklahoma
Don’t be surprised (Don’t be surprised)
The sinks are galvanized.”
Roaches on the ceiling
There’s no machine that makes ice
And she said, “We no longer lodge prisoners here
‘Cuz they all escaped once or twice.”
Out in back by a smoker, they’re having a feast
But is that roadkill they’re cooking?
It’s some mysterious beast.
Last thing I remember,
I couldn’t unlock my door
And she said, “Don’t you worry, hon,
This has happened a few times before.”
“Relax,” said the janitor,
“We’ll have you out in a breeze
If anyone can remember
Where they left the keys.”
(With apologies to a few friends.)
Nice work young man….
Thanks, Richard!
Excellent!
Thanks, Scott. I would have liked to hear the Crispies play it. 😆
Great article and posts
Thanks, Kathy! I appreciate it.
Hilarious! I like your version better than the original.
Thanks so much, Mary! That is high praise!
Hilarious, good work!
Thanks, Steve!
Was some of that inspired by any of our road trips ? I hope not. Good work! Thanks for sharing.
Ha! Inspiration can come from anywhere. Thanks, Tom!
Them’s my cousins you’s singing bout! I like it.
And I’m sure they’re lovely, sophisticated people! 😄