I love Christmas.
Lots of people say that. But I am a full-on, all-in Christmas guy. It’s my favorite time of year. The celebrations. The joy and kindness and generosity the season brings out in people, if only for a short while. And most of all, the transcendent story of the birth of the Christ child—the marvelous, mysterious, miraculous reason for it all.
I even love Christmas music. I especially cherish the Christmas classics. Except…
There is that one song that leaves me bewildered, baffled, befuddled. I cannot fathom how it ever became a seasonal favorite.
I’m talking about the puzzling piece of work called “Little Drummer Boy.”
Plenty of people seem to like it, but you know what the song is saying, right? A poor urchin approaches the newborn baby, and happily suggests he’ll bang on a drum to honor the tiny king.
What…? Why…? How…?
Listen, if I’m Joseph and I’m responsible for the welfare of my exhausted wife and this divine child, I welcome the astonished shepherds from the fields and the wise Magi who journeyed to worship the newborn king. To any who would come and adore him, I’d say bring your lyre and lute, your harp and flute.
But the one instrument that I absolutely will not allow around this sleeping child is a drum. Well, also bagpipes. No bagpipes. And please don’t tell me there’s a carol called “Little Bagpipe Boy.”
Hey, I’ve really tried to give “Little Drummer Boy” a fair chance. I’ve sung it in choirs accompanied by a young boy with a snare drum. I once worked up a funk version for our church band that featured the drums. Many artists, from Bing Crosby to the Jackson 5 to Carrie Underwood to Pentatonix, have done their own renditions. But those were just efforts to make a stupid song tolerable. And they failed.
(I will grant you that the bizarre pairing of improbable neighbors Bing Crosby and David Bowie in the 1977 TV special Bing Crosby’s Merrie Olde Christmas, with Bowie taking off on a descant arrangement of “Peace on Earth,” was the most amusing and listenable of all of them.)
Surely there must be a backstory we’re not privy to—an obscure, apocryphal manuscript that causes the whole thing to make sense. Maybe Joseph and Mary were hep cats in the Galilean jazz scene. We know Jesus was a righteous dude. One of the wise men could have showed up with an upright bass strapped to his camel, ready to bebop like Charles Mingus. A shepherd hiding a tenor sax under his cloak, waiting to wail like Coltrane? Maybe a local lutist could riff like Joe Pass or Wes Montgomery. Of course, an angel could scat like Ella. Is it possible the drummer boy had assembled a happenin’ quintet and he was ready to lay down a groove like Gene Krupa or Stockton Helbing, all for the baby Jesus?
Sorry, but there’s no such colorful story.
The actual creation of “Little Drummer Boy” is quite mundane. A little research reveals that American composer Katherine Kennicott Davis wrote the song in 1941. The story goes that Davis was trying to take a nap when this song leaped into her mind. It must have been a fever dream. She became obsessed with it.
See? This musical monstrosity even destroyed the sleep of the person credited with its creation! There’s no word about whether Davis gradually lost her mind and spent the rest of her days sleep-deprived and endlessly muttering, “pa-rum-pum-pum-pum.” One wonders.
I have a solution that might bring a little sanity to the whole thing. Let’s just revise the lyrics a bit.
Second Verse
Child:
“Shall I play for you
Pa-rum-pum, pum-pum
On my drum?”
Third Verse
Mary:
“No.”
* * *
Is there a Christmas song that rubs you the wrong way? Tell me about it in the comments.
Love this!
Thanks!
Yes! I agree this is my least favorite Christmas song.
I also agree that the Crosby/Bowie performance was the best arrangement ever!
I’m sure the drummer boy had good intentions. There’s always that one person that brings your child a noisy, inappropriate gift. Now we know where the tradition originated.
Merry Christmas!
Yes! I believe the Lord will use whatever talents we surrender to him. But he may tell us to go use them far away!
While being a drummer, I have to agree about this song. I feel drums go with just about anything, except Baby Jesus.
Now to your question of least favorite Christmas song.
1. Wonderful Christmastime – song and lyrics by Paul McCartney
2. Baby, it’s cold outside – Unsure of whom wrote it and do not care.
3. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer – No further explanation needed.
4. “My Favorite Things” – Rounds out my least favorite Christmas songs.
😆😆 I’m glad we agree about the drum thing. There are plenty of other times in Jesus’ life where drums would be appropriate.
That’s a pretty good list you have there!
Thank you for thinking more about the “Little Drummer Boy” than I ever will. It’s a curious tune that was misplaced in time.
However, now I cannot stop thinking about the “Little Bagpipe Boy”. The possibilities are endless. Maybe something Stomp could do for a Christmas Special but wait, then they would surely do the “The little drummer” as well. Good grief!
Don’t you dare write a song about the Little Bagpipe Boy!
On second thought, let’s add a few more verses–one about Little Bagpipe Boy, one about Little Banjo Boy, and one about Little Tuba Boy. Then, as his first miracle, baby Jesus can break all their instruments.
Maybe that’s what happen and why it took centuries for it to resurface.
BTW, I certainly have my naughty list for Christmas song, however, I could never rank my favorites in any certain order. They are all so Holy in so many ways.
There are so, so many good ones that turn our eyes and hearts toward heaven. Makes it possible to tolerate the clunkers. 😄
David, I too, love this song…….but………it was brought to my attention recently that a very pregnant Mary had just traveled days on the back of a mule. She and Joseph had to find a feeding stall to stay, since there was NO ROOM IN THE INN. After moving hay, feed, and other “stuff” of the floor of the stall, then deliver the KING OF KINGS !!! Why would she want to HEAR a drum beating?? Love you Brother, Merry Christmas!
Right?? Poor Mary might have asked for the angel Gabriel (who had already visited her and Joseph) to smite that child!
Love you too, my brother.
You are sooo funny.this is great
Thanks, Kathy! Merry Christmas!
I laughed out loud at, “Maybe Joseph and Mary were hep cats in the Galilean jazz scene.”
😄 Oh, to wonder what might have been!
Since you beat me to Little Tuba Boy, I would mention “We Three Kings” as a least favorite. When did the magi (assuming they were three in number) become kings? And there are not enough words for me to express my disdain for John and Yoko’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”. On that note, a belated Merry Christmas and blessings in the New Year!
Yeah, boo on “Happy Christmas”. Merry Christmas to you as well, Richard!
🤗🤗 I’ve never understood the song either…!
It’s a puzzler.
As a child, I was always horrified by “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” Is Santa an adulterer? What is happening?? The passage of years has brought some illumination on the lyrics but has not improved my opinion of the song.
Yes, that’s a bad one. And it’s not just Santa, but your mother! It’s all too much for a kid to handle.